Friday, May 31, 2013

My Previous Assistant

Exquisitely apprehensive,
The man corresponds to his previous assistant.

My Dearest [insert name here],

Through thick and thin, you have been there for me. When I asked for a coffee, it was on my desk promptly. We discussed current events, you enjoyed editing my contents, and prevent me hitting send when responding to a previous assistant.

Signed, [insert name here]

Exquisitely intrigued,
The previous assistant responds to her former apprehensive boss,

Dear [insert name here?],

Why did you forget my name? Is that too much for your new assistant to put in the template? If I had some coffee, I would throw it in your face. If there was a current event, I hope you were part of that event so I didn't have to see you at work. Your contents were always flawed. While I did prevent you to send this template to a past assistant, I'm surprised I received my own letter I wrote for you to send to your previous assistant.

Signed, your previous assistant

Another experimental poem, or would you call this a prose poem? I'm not really sure, but after I wrote the first two lines, I was set on writing a funny letter where the "boss" forgot to read his email to send to his previous assistant. Having a reply adds to the hilarity I see in this poem.

I hope you enjoy!

Childhood Songs

A song       are my song
I long                  ...for you and only you
For                     ...thee is my sun, my moon and stars
Starts                 ...where nobody else finishes
And ends           ...where nobody else begins
With                   ...time, we shall conquer all
Intuitive              ...minds think alike
Rhythms             ...shower you with beauty
Syncopated        ...walk, together, forever
Notes                 ...from our childhood

I think this can be considered experimental poetry. The way I see it is that there are three different poems here. It can be read three different ways and I thought that was pretty unique.

I hope you enjoy!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Fall of Desert

Ingenious camels
Ride through the Fall of desert
Sipping on some wine

I'm not sure how I came up with this haiku. I first started with the word "ingenious," after that, I didn't really want to say "people," so I refer to the people as "camels." From there, I wanted to include some sort of relation to the weather, place, and time of year. Finally, instead of water, "wine" came to mind since it was luxurious.

I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mac & Cheese & Me

As a child, Mac & Cheese was a delight to have
Throw in the right amount of cheese with milk
And you have the perfect combination of food
Years pass, you grow up and find out that
Mac & Cheese is not as great as it once was
Instead, you precisely measure each ingrediant
Forgoing the minor "more or less" milk initiative
Devouring the Mac & Cheese in one sitting
Than having leftovers for a later date
Maybe you start combining it with food oddities
Throw in some taco meat, tuna, or even veggies
As a child, Mac & Cheese was a delight to have
As an adult, Mac & Cheese is godsend

This was fun and I was hungry (had some Double Daves desserts for free from the office). I really enjoy mixing Tuna with Mac & Cheese now. It is really delicious and semi-healthy.

I hope you enjoy!

A Battlefield

When the clock strikes one
A glock will go off
The cold plastic in his hands
Black and heavy with command
It manes his enemies no matter the distance
He is not considered the most fittest
Instead of running around
He trains his fingers and lounges
When he hears a clang
He screams at his gang
Friendly fire was turned on
Now he waits to respawn

I recently bought Battlefield 3 and believe it was the inspiration for this. As I was mowing down people online with a pistol from long distance, it helped me visualize this poem a little better. Games can be fun, but I don't know if I'd every shoot a real gun.

I hope you enjoy!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Spell Check The Ticket

Do you spell check? I spell check. I don't regret it one bit. Part of the reason is I'm turrible at spelling. So turrible that I was once called the Charles Barkley of spelling. I still do not fully understand the reference, but my basketball colleagues all gagreed. Another program they love is the Ticket. I've tried listing to 1310, but it never comes in on AM. Every morning it sounds like static, and every night it is as clear as a whistle blown at a basketball game. I wonder if it is because I'm listening to FM during the PM? I never understand any of the jokes they say either. They always tell me to be agreffe and agressniff. They speak of drops, but I have yet to hit the floor when they say them. Isn't that the point of a drop?

Who is Grubes and where is he at?

Not many people will understand my prose poem. I dedicate this to Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket and all its glory. They have come up with some of the best things I've ever heard on the radio. The poem is about a man who is dumbfounded about the Ticket and does not fully understand anything his coworkers say. Overall, I think the Ticket personalities would be proud!

I hope you enjoy!

A Dogs Tale

Stuck in a rut with no way out
I stop on the rug and begin to pout
My cries go unheard and it's absurd
Why my owners ignore my greasy snout

I demolished the pizza in a flash
My owners ceased me with a whiplash
Of angry and a hit on my nose
I run out the door after that bash

I followed a mate to make my move
Before I knew it, I was long over due
A man in brown snatched me up
I'm in a cage, this is deja vu

My owner came with ten minutes to spare
I was about to be put down, life can be unfair
My owner hugged me with all of their might
It strange how the little one is the only one who cares

First perspective of a dog could be a funny feeling. We don't know how they really feel unless we see emotions in their face or leg moving really fast. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like as a dog.

I hope you enjoy!

Opposite References

The return rate is futile
If once you don't succeed
Why try again
Take your grain of salt
And shove it in some meat pie
Walk under the ladder why don't you
The luck will run out sooner than later
A black cat has appeared
Walking passed it was very effective
A spoon full of sugar makes you hyper
Stupid is as stupid does
Try reaching for the fork
The stars are too far for you
Pass me the rock
No, the ball not an actual rock
Rock and roll is noise pollution
You can't do it
You are not welcome

This poem has tons of references. If you can figure them out, that's awesome. My mind has been going everywhere as of late.

I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Doing It Right

Doing it right, everybody in the school is
Doing it right? Everybody in the school is
Doing alright. Everybody in the school is
Doing right. Everybody in the school is
Doing it at night. Everybody in the school is
Doing a fright. Everybody in the school is
Doing with sight. Everybody in the school is
Doing it tight. Everybody in the school is
Doing contrite. Everybody in the school is
Doing upright. Everybody in the school is
Doing all right.

This is a dedication to Daft Punk's new song "Doin' It Right." I love this song, probably one of my favorites on the new album. It is fun and energetic. If you sing what I wrote to the theme, it would make more sense.

I hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Road Runner

My clock never wants to reach zero. No matter how fast I run backwards, my legs are not fast enough to imitate time travel. I may look purple and have feathers, but birds would kill for my talent. That fancy coyote keeps trying to stop me; I believe he wants to learn my secret. But really, what is my secret? I chirp every now and then; Usually, it sounds like "Beep, Beep." Do other species run as fast as me? I know a coyote can't keep up. What is holding me back from going back in time?


Oh, Wile. You will have to try harder than that.


This little piece of prose poem was interesting. What if Road Runner only thought about one thing: going back in time. I believe the title easily gives this away, but it was still fun having Road Runner think all of this.

I hope you enjoy!


Have you ever seen so much yellow
That you thought of a boat
Maybe a road, without a toll
Have you ever seen so much yellow
That you thought of a stand
Maybe a family, someone without a hand
Have you ever seen so much yellow
That you thought of an ex
Maybe a vixen, the sunset out West
Have you ever seen so much yellow
That reminded of something
Maybe a show, or even a movie

This was fun to write. I was thinking of many shows and movies that reminded me of yellow. Not only that, but I sang it to sound similar to The Yellow Submarine.

I hope you enjoy!


When I stare at the screen
I see two
Not a two for one deal
Like shopaholics
But two of everything
As I type this
I see two
TTwwoo wwoorrddss
T  L
w  i
o  n
My eyes are busy
But when I stare at the screen
I see two for me

I would put this under experimental poetry. I notice when staring at my computer screen (two may I add), I see two of everything. Could be that I'm looking at it cross-eyed, but it is very interesting.

I hope you enjoy!

Monday, May 20, 2013

For Sale

Sign the sign, a God-forbid sign
Where people go to get extra cash
Are you strap for cash
Do you carry a piece
Leave it behind since we give you money to feast
Feast on whatever you like
Be it real food or synthetic
But beware of the appietite of many
People tend to sale their soul for much less
But don't stress since we put you to the test
This is a donation
You are helping out others
Please lay down
Your plasma is profound

I have never donated Plasma, but I just have a feeling it hurts. I wonder if people enjoy working there too and seeing the oddity of people there.

I hope you enjoy!

1980s Music

In the moonlight, the darkness of the night
We soar to great heights like fireflies
In the moonlight, the stray cats enjoy the fight
We look on pretending that musicians never die
Though the music, enjoys another collaboration
Genres mixing and never on probation
This will soon be tight, like an 80s remix
There is no time for the limelight
When my music only mesmerizing some
In the moonlight, the crowd begins to yell
We soar to great heights like a band on the run
In the moonlight, the stray fans enjoy our tale
We look on pretending that our music never dies

I think with the new release of Daft Punk upon us, that I could write a song like them. Experience a song like them. Be a song like them. What am I kidding? That will never happen!

I hope you enjoy!

Friday, May 17, 2013

What's My Name

Why, oh why was I given such a plain name?
What was my mother thinking? I hate my name.
There are not enough syllables or accent marks.
Also, thanks my plain middle name, MOM.
Now I get friends and colleagues asking why I don't go by that.
I'm not angry with you, but frustrated beyond belief.
I have to live with this name for the rest of my life.
Oh, by the way, Happy Mother's Day!

Your son,

Sean John Combs

I thought this short poem would be funny. Think of a celebrity with a plain name who wanted a change and would be known for it. That's when Sean John Combs, aka Diddy, P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy, Puff, came to mind.

I hope you enjoy!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

A Spiky, Yellow-Haired Boy

A spiky, yellow-haired boy came out of the bushes with a giant sword. I thought, "How can a person of his stature carry such a heavy sword." I decided not to question his hair since everyone had weird hair in this town (the other day, I saw a weapon attached to one's arm). Random music came out of nowhere. Did the spiky, yellow-haired boy have a radio in his back pocket? He draws his giant sword. I thought, "Is he really challenging me?" He slashes at me a few times I start to fade. However, I have a surprise for him.

KABOOM! That showed him...

The spiky, yellow-haired boy lived. Cue celebration music.

If you know your video games, I believe you know the video game and characters within my prose poem. This is how I view some of the monsters from the game. Poor, poor Bomb.

I hope you enjoy!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Rain, rain, stay today
Make it flood everyday.
Little Jimmy starts to play;
Rain, rain, starts to drown
Everyone who runs around.

We had some heavy storms yesterday, so I thought it would be cool to write different lyrics to the well known rain nursery rhyme. It is much darker as you can.

I hope you enjoy!


Retirement, realignment, retribution
Three words that plague his ego
After retirement, he fears the worst
He will have to realign his life
Start unfathomable hobbies
This retribution is his death bed
His fellow coworkers pursue retirement
But he fears his sanity will out
The realignment within the office
Will be one of the best things
The office has seen since Y2K
He wasn't the worst at his job
But he did enjoy making everyone work
Which led to his problematic retribution
Will he accept his retirement?
In time, he supposes.
Will he accept his realignment?
In time, he purposes.
Will he accept his retribution?
No, not until his deathbed.

I was listening to the radio and the word "retirement" came up. I forgot who was retiring, most likely Beckham or someone not important. After that, I thought of two words and went off it. The man in this poem was not liked very well as you can see. To throw in my descriptive lines would make this poem much longer, but I thought it got the point across. When is the last time someone remembers Y2K? It wasn't that long ago, was it?

I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Sugar Monster

Coco is the way to their heart
Give it to them once
And they do the chocolate trot
They stick their hips out forward
Jump really far back
Do one millions circles
And have a sugar attack
Make sure they don't get it in their hair
Because only squares do that
They want to be cool
So let them be coldblooded
When the sugar monster finds them
Instead of screaming
They will shout
They will want more
Their is no doubt
The sugar monster will try and flee
But they will catch it
And will feed
Coco is the way to their heart
Give it to them once
And they will eat the sugar monsters lot

I have no idea where this came from, but it was fun writing it. When kids get into sugar, stuff goes down. BEWARE PARENTS!!!

I hope you enjoy!

Monday, May 13, 2013

I Kept Running

I stand at the starting line waiting to start my day
Running is a hobby of mine, but I'm living in a dream
Each step I take is another piece of reality slipping
The tireder and more out of breath I get
The more I tend to see less with every misstep
Mistakes have been made, trips have been taken
When I fall down, I tend to catch myself
However, when you are running at full speed
Life can be held on by a thread
"Watch where you are going!"
"Have a nice trip!"
 Boom, I hit the ground at full force
Without realizing my shoes were tied together
Which little munchkin tied them together

A newly found father among the father's in the world. He is used to doing things on his own. Running was once his hobby, but with kids, it's a little hard.

I hope you enjoy!

Flock Together

What is the meaning of meeting in a predisposed location where ducks chatter and flock together? As I sit patiently on my stool, they come visit me. I do not throw them bread or any such food, but they see their mother in me. Could it be the smell of my week old dirty socks or perhaps my shoes that are nearly 10 years old now? I make sure my shopping cart has no food since it would make me even more hungry than usual. It's nice to have some company, be it ducks.

At first, I thought about someone feeding ducks. Instead, this prose poem ended up being about a hobo chilling and having ducks visit him for a brief moment. I wonder if hobo's actually think this way. I do not recommend becoming a hobo to find out.

I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Another Castle

The game is nothing but an illusion
It provides entertainment
An interesting story
But all for a price
If you are willing to shell out green and red
Then by all means
Purchase the game
Beware of pitfalls and an undying strategy
Without them
Game over
If an item is brought to your attention
Good chance
You should take it
If it is dark then use a flashlight
The monstrosity with eyes
Will never fill the room
Unless with it's spiky shell
And rudimentary stomps
Remember those days
When you had two
To choose from
Save the princess
Who happens to be in
Another castle

Video game geeks will get the subtle references. I had a lot of fun writing this one. I decided to do the spacing as so because of the importance of some of the lines.

I hope you enjoy!

Lazy America

Walking, it's something we do everyday. No matter the speed or difficulty, we still walk. It starts in our youth and leads to our deathbed. No matter how far ahead you think you are, you are still walking. Wherever you walk to, make sure it is with purpose. Try not to walk all over people, though it could be purposeful. Walking over people can hurt them emotionally and physically. Try to glide over those feelings. Maybe do the electric slide. Strut your stuff and look fly. Stay fly when you walk. If you learned to fly, continue to walk because walking is better. If asked, "Let's take a walk," you should put on your walking shoes. You can't turn down a walk. What has hurt people enough to make them not want to walk. Lazy America, why don't you walk more?

Walking is something I observe everyday at my job. I wish I did more of it, but when I take a break, I take a walk. It's nice to get on your feet and just go somewhere. If you have 15 minutes to spare, go walk somewhere, especially when it's a nice day outside.

I hope you enjoy!

Til Death

The Union is the start, life begins
You learn, yearn, and hope for the best
While the age timetable chases and races
You are on a steady course
Winding, reminded that you can never get a divorce
From this estranged woman on your right
She is your heaven, your life
Wherever she goes, you must follow
Whenever she intrusts, you must swallow
Your pride, pride, your wonderlust pride
All of it gone after she becomes your bride
One thing you should never do is lie

It seems like a lot of people are talking about marriage right now. I decided to write a short poem about marriage. These are really not my views on it. I just write what comes to mind.

I hope you enjoy!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Live Happy and Never After

Falling down the rabbit hole
Dorthy asked, a tale untold
Why must there be a living soul
That never seems to be paroled
By a scarecrow, tin man, or lion

Floating through the desert dole
Alice asked, a tale keyhole
Why must there be a living soul
That never seems to be controlled
By a rabbit, heart, or cat

Ruling all the desolate land
An ugly queen and greenish man
One trumps all suits with untold demands
The other is short and barely stands
Let's live happy and never after

This is one of my better poems on this blog. I like how I compared and contrast two tales. Giving both a confusing part about both of them. I enjoyed comparing the scarecrow to the rabbit, tin man who needs the heart, and lion/cat. The stories are much darker than the Disney movies, but I still thought this was fun.

I hope you enjoy!

Baseball Season

Whenever the ball
Leaves the playground, dust storms
Shatter its boundaries.

Baseball season just started, why not write a haiku about it? I do enjoy baseball greatly, but when you do not have television at home, it sucks.

I hope you enjoy!

The Awkward Drawl

I withdrew my drawl for the time being
The drawl was a predominant fiend
It scared away ladies outright
My cat ran away last night

The drawl draws in uglier things
Like cockroaches, lizards, frogs and gizzards
What is that sound out my window?
Why is there a cow on my front steps yelling, Moo!

I contacted the locals to find out what's wrong
They contacted the government, it took so long
It was confirmed that my drawl is the worst of the bunch
Whenever it breaks, I'm always at lunch

I was kicked out of the country and swam away
To the other side of the pool during the day
Playing make believe is a whimsical chore
I was called to do homework, what a bore

This was fun to write. I don't think many people outside of Texas could write about a "drawl" being so bad. Luckily, I do not really have a draw or accent...or at least I don't think so.

I hope you enjoy!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Pardon the Interruption

Pardon the interruption
Can I borrow your credit card
It's to buy my wifey some slippers
For her toes keep getting splintered

Pardon the interruption
Can I borrow your phone
It's to call my wifey to check up
For her nerves are shot when I country club

Pardon the interruption
Can I borrow your brow
It's to show my wifey that I'm not cheating
For her mind would explode from my terrible mistreating

I'm not sure how I thought about this poem. At first it went from credit card to phone and finally to brow? Weird poem if you ask me.

I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I'm Not Done Yet

So many poems
So little time
When time is of the essence
Where the money cannot be mine
Each word I scribble
Means as much as the last
For the faster I write
The faser I type
How often does a poem
Need to be fixed
As often enough
Let us go down the list
Are words spelled correctly (to me)
Does everything make sense (to me)
Is the poem very vague (to me)
Am I on my last leg

What do you think? Am I done? I do this often. I check spellings. If something doesn't make sense, there is a good reason for that. Most poems are very vague, so try not to BS that one. I believe I am just getting started (as you can see how much I wrote in less than an hour).

I hope you enjoy!

William the Willow

William the willow winks wildly at a woman
William does not approach the woman

The wonky wicket woman willfully stares at William
The woman approaches William

William the willow will not speak
William is not shy

The woman places her hand upon William
The woman has never felt so cool in her life

William the willow tries to never give off heat
William protects and treats nature kindly

The woman sits next to William the Willow
The woman begins to read

William the willow sheds some leaves

What is William? Well, he is a tree. Weird right? I think trees can have names. Especially one's you grow in your backyard.

I hope you enjoy!